On September 3, 2014 I had an MRI done of my brain. I was experiencing some odd symptoms while on a recent trip to California. I had a call back within the hour that I had a 2 centimeter mass on the right side of the brain stem. An area of the brain that is inoperable! What does this mean? It means that the very aggressive Triple Negative Breast Cancer has SPREAD, its come back and is even more aggressive than the first time! The very next day I met with my Radiation Oncologist whom suggested Cyber Knife Radioactive Therapy (http://www.cyberknife.com). Over the course of the next 14 days I met with several doctors, Neurologist, Radiologist, Oncologist, and they all worked HARD at getting my treatment plan in order as quickly as they could. I began treatment on September 16th - September 22, 2014 and it included 5 Cyber Knife Treatments.
BUT it doesn’t end there. During the first two weeks that we had to wait for treatment to begin the cancer had attacked my brain so severely that it completely debilitated me. Within a matter of days I was unable to walk on my own, my speech was slurred, the entire left side of my face was droopy and numb, my left side of my body had weakened, My left hand was numb and I could not write, I could not shower or use the washroom myself, I could not feed myself. On top of all of these symptoms from the tumor itself, I was put on an extremely high does of steroids to prevent further swelling in my brain. The affects of the steroids have been scary. Not only has it given me insomnia but my entire body has swelled up, changing my physical appearance SO drastically and so quickly. On the inside, as my health declined, I felt the affects of a Tramatic Brain Injury. I felt trapped, stuck inside my mind, as if I was in a coma. I was in CONSTANT communication with GOD, CONSTANT PRAYER. As I laid in my home, with my Husband, my children, my Mothers, my Fathers, my Sisters, my dearest friends, on the inside, all I could think and feel was that I was dying right before their eyes. My heart ached and grieved so badly as I laid there thinking "I do not want my children to see me this way." "Who will help Tony raise our children" "I'll never put my kids to bed again" every thought you can think of was rushing through my mind and all I could do was PRAY. JESUS, FIGHT FOR ME BECAUSE I AM TOO TIRED TO FIGHT, I CAN NOT DO IT AND I DO NOT WANT TO FIGHT FOR MY LIFE, FIGHT FOR ME!
When you experience what I call, a Tramatic Brain Injury of some sort, all you have is your MIND, THE ONLY THING THAT CONNECTS YOU TO GOD HIMSELF. It was as if GOD put me to SLEEP last month. Since September 22, 2014, my last treatment day, GOD has been "waking" me up not only physically but SPIRITUALLY. Faithfully restoring me each day and I will NOT let this past month go in vain. God has awakened my soul and put a STRONG message on my heart to share. ITS TIME FOR US TO WAKE UP!
WHERE ARE YOU AT SPIRITUALLY? ARE YOU AWAKE or have you be spiritually asleep as I was?
There WILL come a day when WE WILL ALL COME FACE TO FACE with JESUS CHRIST. We are NOT promised tomorrow and we all know that we will eventually pass away someday. My question for you is, DO YOU KNOW WHERE YOU WILL SPEND ETERNITY? DO YOU KNOW JESUS? HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF HIM?
Gods Word (the bible) is ALIVE and ALL POWERFUL and it clearly says:
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.
Romans 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Romans 10:9-11 If you openly declare that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is by believing in your heart that you are made right with God, and it is by openly declaring your faith that you are saved. As the Scriptures tell us, “Anyone who trusts in him will never be disgraced.”
My prayer for you is that You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him now, you trust him; and you rejoice with a glorious, inexpressible joy. The reward for trusting him will be the salvation of your souls. 1 Peter 1:8-9