As many of you know, my family put together quite the event of a lifetime! We celebrated my recovery on October 20th with a very successful fundraiser, Road to Recovery. It was an amazing day for me and my family and very emotional to see all of you that came to support and encourage me. And I cannot forget the MANY countless people and businesses that made this day such a success by your donations! It was by far the highlight of this next chapter in my life.
Now what was it called again? Recovery, oh yeah, or was it REALITY?!
It was not an easy transition to go from. I am definitely NOT the needy type, but over the course of this year I have had those closest to me right by my side, pretty much at ALL times. Whether it was taking care of the children, driving me to the doctors each week, cooking for me, cleaning for me, folding the endless piles of laundry that I LOVE to do for me. Even seeing my doctor and nurses weekly/daily. Then, on Monday, November 11, 2013, a day I will never forget, I completed 30 rounds / 6 weeks of DAILY Radiation. And then it all STOPPED! My mom had already went back home, my mother-in-law had returned to work, my husband had a new schedule at work….where did everyone go? It was like I was thrown to the wolves. My children were the same, and I was almost eaten alive! Don’t get me wrong. I still have help from time to time but it was a very hard adjustment to go from being watched over 24/7 to being back to “normal” a full-time mom again. Now, as far as my recovery goes, I have been feeling pretty well. I have my good days and my really bad ones too. Some fatigue that usually hits me in the early evenings but I can honestly say that I needed this PUSH back into reality. Its probably what is keeping me going. Over the past few months my biggest struggle has been my appearance. I have had a very difficult time looking back at pictures of myself from last year and seeing what a transformation I have made. I know that this can sound vane, and I never thought of myself as a vane person, but I miss what I used to look like. My body has gone through so much and I couldn’t help but want to look and feel good again.
Reconstruction or Recovery? Well, I have met with a Plastic Surgeon a few times now in regards to reconstruction and I honestly can’t wait to begin the process. There is just one thing, the best option for me is called the TRAM - Transverse Rectus Abdominus Muscle Flap or TRAM Flap for short. Since my body has gone through so much radiation I was advised to go this route instead of getting implants. With the TRAM Flap they are basically doing a tummy tuck and taking your own tissue and transferring it and using that as an implant. It has less complication and less risks than if I were to get implants. Sounds like a dream come true. I can finally get rid of the pasta pouch I have carried since my teenage years. Now my biggest road block in this is that if I lose any weight, I potentially lose the tissue needed for implants! OH the dilemma? Take advantage and the more you gain the more you gain, OR take care of yourself! Throughout this entire journey through chemo, radiation and now menopause I have gained a total of 30 lbs. Most recently I was told that my liver enzymes were high. My next step in this recovery is to have a scan of my liver to make sure that there is no threats there. Which brings me to me decision. What is more important, my outward appearance, what others perceive of me by how I look, OR allowing myself to fully RECOVER from the INSIDE out? I have began the process that is most important to me, weight loss. I started off strong in the New Year with making much healthier eating choices and a very low impact exercise routine. I need to make sure that my body has a chance to recovery from the trauma that it endured before I begin the process of piecing it back together. And that includes doing anything that I can to make sure that my organs function as they should. So, as I progress in this next chapter of my journey I will continue to keep you updated on my weight loss and recovery. I would like to thank you all again for continuing to walk closely with me and encouraging me to blog again.